Land's End to John O'Groats

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Epilogue


Sorry for the delay in keeping you up to date! Today was manic from start to finish, so I didn’t get the chance to write this morning. Martin is now home, as you can see from the pictures he had a welcoming party at Carlisle station, much to his surprise and delight. Apart from his family, there were some of his good friends from his mine exploring days, and Marjorie Robertson who is our fundraising contact with the Air Ambulance people – she is the wonderful lady pictured with Martin (just in case you thought it was his wife!).

The weather during Martin’s penultimate night was extremely wet and windy – “hammering it down” on the tent, waking him at 2 in the morning when he ventured outside to tighten up and repair guy ropes. The final day of Martin’s journey seemed never ending, knowing that he was almost there, but still a few miles to go. He was accompanied by Will (not Bill as I said yesterday) to John O’Groats – the reason Will was cycling east whilst travelling anticlockwise was because the road systems did not always make it straightforward getting to all the lifeboat stations and he sometimes had to back track. Will had to get off and walk up all the hills because of the weight of his trailer, but Martin said he positively flew down hills, pushed along by a couple of hundredweight! They shared the special moment of reaching J O’G together which was appreciated by both. They then went for a celebratory pub meal. He was very good company, and Martin was truly sorry to have to say goodbye to him, wishing him luck for his next 3,000 miles.

Reaching the end of his journey appeared to be something of an anticlimax, J O’G being almost identical to Land’s End (actually the whole ‘photo by the landmark post’ thing is run by members of the same family) with nothing really there. Martin’s cycle to Wick station saw him full of energy again, psychologically there was no pressure. We decided after investigation that the train was the better option than the boat.

He set up camp one mile from Wick station in readiness for an early start and a quick dash to catch the 6.22am train. There were mixed emotions during the evening; pleased to have conquered the journey with all its challenges, both physically and mentally, sad that it was all over, pleased to be coming home to his family on the funny farm. Also pleased that he didn’t have to pay for the campsite, as it was not officially open yet! Nothing changes. He woke at three in the morning, and decided that he couldn’t risk going back to sleep and missing his alarm, so opted to stay awake.

Martin was told at the station in the morning that he’d have to send his bike to Inverness on a shuttle van, so waved goodbye to his baby wondering if he’d ever see it again. He had just 15 minutes at Inverness to find the whereabouts of his cycle and get on the train to Carlisle. He had to argue (quite vehemently) with the station guard to get the bike on without prior reservation, which must be done at least 24 hours before boarding. Lovely lovely red tape. He was told that if at any further station someone had a bike reservation and boarded their cycle, Martin would be booted off. He had to argue (each time quite forcibly – he was determined to get home!) with every guard and ticket inspector that he met, and we were not sure right up until he was at Lockerbie, that he would materialise at Carlisle. Troops were immediately scrambled, and Marjorie, Heb, Kirsten, Roger, Rudy, Robb, Nikki, Jodie, Phoebe, myself and a nice lady from the newspaper, plus a few balloons, saw him safely off the train.

Well, that’s it from me, now it’s over to Martin to continue his story. I feel as though I’ve done my bit for charity whilst he’s been gone; looking after four kids (including one very stroppy teenager who came so close to being auctioned on ebay she’ll never know), three horses, two dogs and a partridge in a pear tree. Oh, and an on-the-run psychiatric patient, who had stopped taking the medication, turning up at the end of my hotel shift at 11pm when I was the only member of staff on duty, finally being escorted off the premises by the boys in blue three hours later. Mad!

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Day 18 - John O'Groats

The eagle has landed! Martin cycled the last 39.61 miles to reach John O’Groats at four o’clock this afternoon.

I have been almost constantly on the telephone since then – everyone I know, and some I don’t know, has called to find out how Martin is doing. So there is no time left tonight to write the blog and get the children to bed. I will make a proper entry in the morning.

Briefly though, he hopes to be able to board the 6.22am train from Wick to end up in Carlisle at around 4.12pm. But it all hangs on whether he can get his bike on the train without prior reservation (and continue to board the bike at the stations where he has to change trains). He will call me in the morning to let me know what he is doing.

Day 17 - Melvich


We have had a baking hot day here in Cumbria, and the weather has been the same right to the tip of Scotland. Martin says tonight that he has had the best day’s cycling ever! The scenery has surpassed all superlatives; he has taken a few pictures but says that none of them will do justice to what he has seen. It is a fantastic end to his journey – words cannot describe how completely awestruck he is! The lochs and the sea reflected the sky in shades of turquoise and royal blue. The coast has revealed miles of stunning yellow beaches with not a soul on them, as if everyone is asleep; he said they look like something out of a pacific holiday brochure. He saw only two people on horseback, galloping along a stretch of beach. I’m there already! Following the road alongside Loch Loyal was absolutely amazing, he said. Scotland has had some fabulous cycling country.

He camps tonight after cycling 66.93 miles, at the Halladale Inn, Melvich, slightly left of Thurso. He is on the north coast, with only 38 miles to cycle tomorrow, to John O’Groats. All the tents on the site belong to cyclists, apparently. One of them is Bill Blight, who is cycling round the coast of Great Britain, raising money for the RNLI, visiting every lifeboat station along the way. He has a website – www.spoke2soon.co.uk and is making the 5,000 mile anticlockwise journey on a Brompton bike (a fold up version that can be fitted into a suitcase) and a makeshift trailer, on top of which is a large cardboard cut out of a lifeboat. Very Heath Robinson. It has a trailer chassis and a car roof box on top, in which Martin says the chap is carrying tonnes of stuff – more belongings than Martin actually owns. Bill, who lives near Corfe Castle in Dorset, has two different pedals on his bike – one metal and the other plastic. He has taken 6 months unpaid holiday from work to complete the trip, cycling 30 miles a day, hoping to raise £15,000. Martin said he has a brilliant sense of humour, and was itching to get off to the Inn for a drink with him.

Martin said that he has also had the windiest day (and I am talking about the weather); as soon as he hit Tongue on the north coast in the afternoon, even cycling downhill for the next 27 miles was a struggle. Vehicles overtaking him became a problem; as he was leaning into the wind, when he was passed by a car (or more commonly a campervan) the pressure dropped suddenly, and he almost fell over sideways. He says his legs are screaming! That’ll be ‘cyclist’s leg’ then.

There may be a change of plan with the journey home. He was told by two seasoned cyclists this morning that he could save about £100 by taking a ferry from the mainland to the Shetland Isles, then another to Aberdeen, to meet a train there. Ever one to save where he can, this would be preferable, although there is a smallish problem – he gets terribly sea-sick!!!

If you’d like to send Martin any messages for his return home, you may email them to martinthecyclist@aol.com I know this blog has been followed by many people, some of which have given very encouraging positive feedback, from next door, to Workington, to Kent, Essex, Cornwall, and even Belgium and Australia! As I said yesterday, all sponsor money is going to the Pride of Cumbria helicopter, and there is still room on the sponsor forms for more donations. If you think Martin’s journey is worth rewarding, please contact me at the above email address, and I’ll gladly get in touch with you. Or send cheques made payable to 'Pride of Cumbria' to Marjorie Robertson (fundraiser), 14 West Lane, Flimby, Maryport, Cumbria. CA15 8RL, and include your name, address and importanly postcode, so that an extra 28% can be claimed back. I know those lovely lads at Carleton Hall (where the chopper is based) will be grateful for the extra funding to keep the ‘copter in the air, saving lives.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Day 16 - Achnairn, Lairg


So close yet so far. Martin is almost there, approximately 100 miles to go, yet the two days left to cycle are two hard days. The terrain will be similar to that of Cornwall – rivers on high ground draining into the sea, creating steep drops and inclines on the coast.

He set off later today, at 7.20am, as he didn’t get such a good sleep last night after a late finish. It was hard to get going and Martin had a heavy head all day. So the distance covered today is 57.47 miles, ending at 4.30pm at Wood End Camp Site, Achnairn, a little north of Lairg in the county of Sutherland.

The mist rolled in off the sea this morning, but as Martin left the coast, the afternoon was incredibly hot. The scenery has been unspectacular, although he found a quiet road that led to some waterfalls, which was pretty. He could see hills in the far off distance, but the surrounding countryside was pastoral and Forestry Commission. Martin had quite a lonely day again, although he met two ‘end to end’ walkers – John and Paul. For one it was his second Land’s End to John O’Groats. He had also walked the Pennine Way seven times. One of them had been walking for 8 weeks!

Good news for the journey home – Martin has washed and dried all his clothes, except the ones he was standing in! He says he has ‘cyclist’s nose’, i.e. one that drips all the time. That’s a new one. It was also a feature of his many backpacking walks, apparently. He is not looking forward to the train journey home, as it will take about 10 hours. I suggested cycling home – in fact my neighbour offered to double his donation if Martin did just that, but he declined for the lame reason that he has sent all his maps home (to reduce his load) and wouldn’t know the way.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Day 15 - Dingwall

Martin says tonight that he has had one of the best days of the whole journey. In between setting off this morning at 6.30am and putting up his tent around 8.30pm, he has travelled 74.62 miles to arrive at a campsite at Dingwall, not far from Ross County Football Club (sorry about the F word). He started to talk about Ray Stewart being the manager for the club (maybe not the current manager), but I told him to concentrate on journey details to save his battery.

He had a really nice ride to Aviemore this morning, which was a little further than he has estimated last night. Incidentally, last night he mentioned that there was a castle on a hill nearby, in the grounds of which he would have set up camp had it not still been so light, because of passers-by seeing him. Later on when it was dark, he looked out of his tent and the whole castle was lit up with floodlights to be seen for miles around!

This morning at 5am, as he popped his head outside the tent to go for a tiddle, expecting to be the only person about, he was greeted with a ‘good morning’ from a birdwatcher a few feet away! The chap from Derby was en route to the Shetland Isles, sleeping in his car overnight in the car park of the adjacent RSPB nature reserve.
The midges homed in on Martin as soon as he surfaced, giving him ‘huge’ bites on his face. He took his tent down in record time, and set off at such a pace that he said he managed to out cycle them.

He met three cyclists whilst travelling towards Tomatin; Dan and his wife Jen from Oregon USA and Christina from Glasgow. They were very welcoming and friendly, good company up to Inverness. They all stopped by Loch Moy for lunch, Martin being fed by them as they had plenty of food. Once a scrounger… This afternoon they passed Clava Cairns – an ancient burial mound, and the site of the Battle of Culloden. The field was covered in mounds – graves of the 1,200 Jacobite clansmen who were killed in one hour by Bonnie Prince Charlie’s troops.

Inverness was a busy city. Route finding is always more challenging in the cities, but Martin appreciated the company of his fellow cyclists, sharing the challenge and being more of a force to be acknowledged. He felt quite lonely after they had gone their separate ways. Immediately after Inverness he crossed the Moray Firth on the Kessock suspension bridge, which was as impressive as the Queen Elizabeth II Bridge over the Thames. Then on across the Black Isle, where he met Bill Kinsey doing his gardening, and another bridge over the Cromarty Firth. He said that the A9 was as busy as the M25! Funny that – I thought there would be nobody about that far up, just sheep.

Martin has worn the same shirt and same socks for over two weeks now. He says they don’t smell, but even if the temperature is below freezing on Monday I think the car windows will be open. His Gaz cylinder is almost empty, hoping to find another tomorrow. His friend Roger had a spare at Orton (day 10), but Martin thought his would last. He has been sleeping well, feels fit powering up the hills, has a tan (although he can tan by candlelight in December) and a beard – that’s coming off on Monday night, and is enjoying being on a bike. Maybe if he is enjoying it so much he could cycle home, by which time the World Cup might be over.

For those who have joined the blog along the way, I thought it would be good to remind everyone that Martin is raising much needed money for the Pride of Cumbria Air Ambulance. You can view info about this brilliant, voluntarily funded service at www.greatnorthairambulance.co.uk If you’ve enjoyed reading about Martin’s progress and would like to make a small donation, please make cheques payable to “Pride of Cumbria” and send to either ℅ T. Carter, 12 Milligans Chase, Galleywood, Chelmsford, Essex. CM2 8QD (Martin’s brother who will forward them), or hang on until he returns home and I’ll post our address. If you care to include your name, address and postcode, the charity can claim 28% more for your donation. Cheers!

Day 14 - Kingussie


A “Welcome to the Highlands” sign awaited Martin as he reached the summit of the Drumochter Pass today, crossing the border into the Highlands of Scotland. I know he’s getting close to the end now because there are only a few pages left in the road atlas. He himself feels the end is in sight, although he is anything but blasé about it, taking each day as it comes – “it’s not in the bag until I’m past Inverness.”

Martin has pedalled another 73.58 miles, ending the day camping in a farm field 1 mile east of Kingussie, 7 – 8 miles SW of Aviemore. It has been another hot day, but he is in good spirits and his knee is perfectly OK, although he can feel the saddle giving him new sores. Mental note to self: must remember to put a cushion in car when collecting him from Carlisle.

He says that everything has been different since he hit Scotland. It has everything going for it. It was a pleasant ride to Pitlochry, with fantastic scenery. The Drumochter Pass gave him spectacular views of the Grampian Mountains, being one of the highest and most remote passes in Scotland, and was a gentle ascent and descent along its 18 miles.

He met three cyclists doing the ‘end to end’ journey from north to south; Greg Parent from Canada, Peter Johnson from Liverpool and John Hayter from Southampton. Two of them had previously cycled across Canada.

The only downside for Martin now seems to be the daily grind of setting up home at the end of each day, and laboriously packing it all away again into the panniers a few hours later. Not for much longer though; he thinks he will reach John O’Groats on Saturday night or Sunday morning, travelling back to Carlisle on Monday. I’d better start searching for train timetables.

PS Remember the campsite just outside Dalkeith, where Martin arrived after the shop had closed, and he would have to pay at 9am when it opened? He packed up super-quick, and cycled off at 6.40am!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Day 13 - Perth


Martin called at midday, to tell me that he was standing in the middle of the Forth Road Bridge. He was very enthusiastic about the experience, saying that the view was spectacular and that every time a lorry thundered past, the bridge bounced and swayed. That was probably the biggest highlight of today, although he really enjoyed visiting Edinburgh.

He progressed a further 79.47 miles northwards, camping at 7.45pm in a field belonging to Money Die Farm, 6 – 7 miles north of Perth. He said this evening that he feels he may finish at least a couple of days sooner than anticipated.

Martin has had a good day; with tarmac melting again the weather has been very hot – a little too hot for cycling, but preferable to that horrible stuff they had in the south. It has been tiring, but after a couple of days with a little extra sleep, and concentrating on achieving more mileage during the earlier part of the day, he is feeling less tired. I wish I could say the same! The knee is OK, and the bruising elsewhere is gradually going. The tops of his arms are sunburnt, and I nagged him yet again to buy some sunscreen! He seems to have gained an almost pregnancy-like craving for Rich Tea biscuits. Strange when he was trying to cut down on biscuits before he left, although I found I still had to hide the chocolate ones.

Martin stopped for an early rest in a park in Edinburgh, watching people walking to work which he found quite amusing. I guess that’s what happens when you’ve had only yourself for company for nearly two weeks. A young lady stopped to ask him “Where have you come from?” and stopped to chat for a while. He saw Edinburgh Castle and the Royal Yacht Britannia. He said it was ‘vibrant’ city with a friendly feel to it. The signposting for cyclists is excellent; many routes in an around the city, but all posted so that you ‘can’t go wrong.’ If Scotland can be so geared up for cyclists, why can’t England?

He has followed four maps today – the Coast and Castles route, the Edinburgh to Aberdeen Cycle Way to Kinross, his own route to Perth, and the Salmon Run beyond that. He is now in the Kingdom of Fyfe, whose scenery is one of plush meadows, fields of rape and other farmland. Very picturesque and fairly flat.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Day 12 - Dalkeith

Today Martin was following the B709, from Langholm to Innerleithen. He’s in good spirits, reporting how magnificent and fantastic the scenery has been. Although he has had another lonely day, seeing no cyclists and approximately 1 car every half an hour, he says the weather has been really good, no wind, warm but not too hot and generally clear. Today he has cycled 73.43 miles, and is staying on a campsite just outside of Dalkeith, which is 10 miles from Edinburgh town centre.
He arrived at the campsite at about 6.30pm, and learned that the shop there closed at six, so he would therefore not be able to pay for his stay this evening. From what the campsite owner told him, he sussed that if he got off to an early start in the morning, he might be able to get away with not having to pay at all, which would be great! Apparently, you pay at the shop, or when they come round to see you, so he’s hoping to avoid that situation!
He reports he’s experienced a good day, with his saddle soreness and knee problem slowly decreasing. However, he has developed a slight groin injury from pulled muscles, but says “It’s nothing serious, and it hasn’t affected me too much”, which is good. He feels he has done very well today, and is in good spirits, mainly because of the beautiful scenery.
Tomorrow, he will be cycling through Edinburgh city centre, hopefully seeing the castle and he says he will probably go down to the docks there as well. He will also see the Forth Road Bridge, which is another reason he is looking forward to tomorrow.
His lack of sleep and tiredness is catching up with Martin, as he has stopped and had a 5 minute nap by the roadside on a few occasions today. Tomorrow, he is hoping to see the Tibetan monastery, which he is also looking forward to. But for tonight, he has had a shower and some tea, and is aiming for an early night.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Day 11 - Langholm


I’ve discovered today why Martin is so tired. He’s cycling backwards. He must be. He called from a payphone at Melmerby at midday to ask me to top up the credit on his phone, and I asked him if he’d seen anything unexpected along the route. Nothing. How could he have missed it? We drove back to retrieve the sign this afternoon, and in daylight it was visible from a full quarter of a mile before reaching it. So he must either have been cycling backwards, or with his eyes closed.
A campsite at Langholm is the finish point today, after clocking up another 72.61 miles. Backwards. Martin says his legs feel that he should be at John O’Groats by now.
Martin had had a good day today, albeit one of mixed emotions. Telling him he’d missed the sign didn’t help, but being so close to home and able to see the Lakeland fells (which was the highlight of today), including Hopegill Head, which is right on our doorstep; crossing the C2C and Reivers routes which he cycled with his brother last year, and knowing that he was leaving it all behind, was hard. Crossing the border into Scotland was another landmark point, though, and the knowledge that Peter Hargreaves now owes him the full £15 (£5 for each country) spurred him on!
This morning he met Val James cycling home to Holmfirth, who had camped at Dufton, and spoke of a geology weekend based there, which included a talk and a guided walk on the fell. This rang a bell, as Martin’s friend Ian Tyler, who owns Keswick Mining Museum with his good wife Jean, does these talks and walks. Coincidentally, it was he whom she had been listening to the night before. Small world. Even smaller, Martin happened to bump into him just along the road! Both were as surprised as each other, but Martin said it was really good to see him.
Beyond Dufton he met Pat Stephenson, who cycled with Martin to Melmerby, where she stopped for a cuppa. She met up with him again at Renwick, and they cycled together until Hethersgill, above Brampton. He said it was great to have the company of another human being, taking his mind off the negative things, and it made the miles fly by. Pat kindly sent me the above picture.
His knee is painful every now and then, but he’s applying ‘Mint-ease’ roll-on, which was given to him by Peter Teisen, and says it’s good stuff. His ‘system’ has settled down in the last 2 or 3 days – he now thinks it could have been due to the water in a certain area of the country. Contrary to his projected thoughts, he is not getting fitter as he is going along, maybe due to the cumulative effects of the short sleeps, distances covered and the weight he is carrying. His friend Heb pushed the bike for a bit yesterday and was amazed how heavy it was. (And he’s a strong lad!)

Day 10 - Raisbeck nr Orton


Apologies for the late publishing of this blog; after Martin called in the evening we went out to erect this message and bottle of sunscreen along his route so that he would see it on day 11, and we didn't get home until midnight.
He camped at New House Farm Raisbeck, approx. 10 miles from Appleby, after cycling 52.76 miles. The shorter mileage was because he lost an hour's cycling time whilst sorting out his saddle when he met up with his good friends Heb, Roger and Kirsten near Sedburgh. He said it gave him a real buzz seeing them, quite a tonic. It had been hard after they had gone, but it was worth the boost. The saddle he chose (from a selection of 5) cushioned the sore spots instantly, but he said only a week out of the saddle will heal the bruising properly. He jettisoned some items no longer required with one of his friends, who later told me that Martin looks a bit like a zebra - his arms are deeply tanned but his wrists, shoulders and top of his face are white, though he has badly sunburnt ears. He also looks a bit 'wild' with his whiskers! (Picture kindly sent by Heb.)
He met a cyclist on Malham Moor, Peter, who was supporting friends walking the Pennine Way. During another lonely day, it was good to see Peter, who works for Transport London, setting up cycleways in London.
The Scenery has been the highlight of his journey; today's being on a par superlative wise with yesterday's. He compared it to being a drug. There was a steep climb out of Malham, coupled with a fierce headwind this morning, and a hard incline out of Ingleton. The temperature was 'boiling'- so much so that the tar was melting on the roads. Half way through the day he found a seat by the roadside and stopped for a 5 minute nap. Stunning blue skies all day, lush green fields, limestone walls and little enclosures; he said you'd never see the Yorkshire Dales looking more beautiful. He stopped earlier to set up camp, to give himself more of a rest this evening, which would pay dividends tomorrow, the cumulative effects of the weather, mileage and short sleeps having caught up with him.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Day 9 - Malham


Martin began the call this evening by apologising for not being here on my birthday, but he was with me in spirit – or at least his credit card was, when I took the kids out for dinner! He began his day at a very low ebb, purely because he was so totally exhausted, mainly mentally. After breakfast and de-camping he set off to find that with a bit of ibuprofen gel in the right place (the Sudocreme has been ditched), the bruising from the saddle was slightly better, and that raised his spirits considerably.
At 9.30pm he set up his tent at Malham campsite, happy to be amongst people, after the hottest day so far. He camped at the very same site 30 years ago with his father when they walked the Pennine Way together, and has been on his own a few times since; the site owners are still the same people.
He has willed himself through another 69.41 miles today over hill and dale – literally. He said it’s been a tough day, then acknowledged that every day has been a tough day. He lost his way twice, once because of the map (“I’ll never follow another Sustrans map!”) and once because he was enjoying the view and wasn’t paying attention to the signs. At Sowerby Bridge he met a female cyclist, whom he found very friendly. He chatted about his route with Claire, and she showed him a much better route than the mapped one, to Hebden Bridge where she lived, which followed a canal. So he was very pleased to have met her.
His lasting impression of today has to be the fantastic countryside and views, the familiar stone walls, the blue skies reflecting in the reservoirs which were ‘spectacular.’ He enjoyed passing through the Derbyshire countryside (his Mum’s favourite area) and Lancashire towns. Also the many reminders of his Pennine Way walks.
I reckon he has completed 642.25 miles to date, with approximately 685.75 to go, so tomorrow should be the half way point. He is averaging 71.36 miles per day. (Well, what else would I be doing at 01:23 am at the end of a blog?). He hopes to get to Dufton tomorrow evening, and three of his friends plan to meet up with him.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Day 8 - Bleaklow Hill


The major topic of conversation tonight was saddle soreness! Joking apart, it is causing Martin such discomfort that it is severely eating into his mental and physical reserves. He has asked me to seek out some spare saddles from the loft, which his mining friends can hopefully pass on when they meet up with him in a couple of days. If he hadn’t raised his saddle to alleviate strain on the knee it wouldn’t be a problem. The saddle is made of tough leather, which had shaped itself to his form. Raising it meant that pressure points were in different places, and what he is experiencing is bruising rather than chaffing. By the evening it has become somewhat numb, so he races on through the miles a little easier.
Still, he has made good progress, clocking up 67.70 miles today. He set off at 8am, a little later than planned due to being tired and sluggish. In order to complete the desired mileage per day he is finishing well into the evening, and after setting up camp and eating etc., he is not getting the necessary amount of sleep (his alarm is set for 5am). Tonight he is settled on the flanks of Bleaklow Hill on the Howden Moors, approximately 11 miles south of Holmfirth, on the opposite side of Woodhead Reservoir to Crowden.
Today has again been hard; he has lost his way a few times, and has seen hardly anyone so it has been quite lonely. He has enjoyed the Tissington Trail, although a fierce north wind made it seem like he was doing twice the mileage. He sailed through Ashbourne and Buxton, but found the very steep climb out of New Mills towards Glossop added to his soreness. However, even though he is struggling a little now, both mentally and physically, he is still able to enthuse about the fantastic scenery, and what a brilliant opportunity it is to be able to do this trip. He enjoyed listening to the messages you have been sending – I even passed on the one mentioning the World Cup. How dutiful am I? I’m off now to wash my mouth out with soap.